Dennis Goedegebuure

Control Emotions

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Ever since I got struck with a massive heart attack just 4 months ago, I’m learning new skills. Not for my job or for parenting, but new skills on how to control my emotions and channel my energy. 

I use several apps to get into a ZEN mode in my life. These include:

  • Mood meter – tracking your mood to identify those moments you got annoyed or stressed out, and a guide on how to get to a better place with your emotions
  • Headspace – a meditation app. Andy talks you through a daily moment of ZEN
  • H*nest Meditation – another meditation app on advice from my friend Bob. This one makes me laugh often, although I just downloaded it

Even with use of these apps, there can still be moments you feel you’re losing it. Just recently I learned of the proactive formula from Kabbalah on a Podcast by Stephan Spencer. This is what I’m trying to incorporate in situations of conflict or challenges.

…One of my favorite things I learned from Kabbalah is the Proactive Formula, which is a five-step process…It’s about if you’re in conflict, you’re in a situation that is a challenge, what do you do? You follow the five steps if you’re going to be reactive…

I encourage you to listen to the whole episode of The Optimized Geek. 

The five steps are (summarized):

  1. Pause. Don’t get sucked into a conflict
  2. Recognize the person you’re in conflict with is not the enemy but your own reactivity is the opponent
  3. Recognize this conflict or challenge is brought to you to grow
  4. Ask yourself for a proactive solution or action to take
  5. Take that action

What are your strategies to take control of your emotions and face the challenges? Do you have any apps I should try?

It’s November, New Goals

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This year is going so fast, we are already in November. For this months, I’m setting new goals today, which tie back into the habits I’m trying to develop while working on the recovery of my health. 

For November, my goals are:

  1. Burn 1,000 calories per day, every day in November as measured by my Apple Watch
  2. Walk 10,000 steps per day as measured by my Apple watch

As I’m a geek in collecting data about everything, I keep track of the daily calories & steps in a Google doc.

Exercise metrics tracked in Google Doc

One way to make sure I burn 1K calories a day is exercise on a reclined bike while watching sports. I figured if I spend 45 minutes per day on my bike, the 1K per day is attainable.

Meanwhile, the 10K steps is an extra pressure to get away from sitting behind the desk the whole day. My plan is to take calls while I walk, next to taking the dog out every morning. 

To accomplish these goals, it probably means I need to get up earlier, and hence go to bed on time to get sufficient sleep. 

What are your goals for November? 

Daily DG

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Inspired by the post from one of my marketing hero’s Seth Godin I’m trying something new. He wrote in his post: The first 1,000 are the most difficult; 

For years, I’ve been explaining to people that daily blogging is an extraordinarily useful habit. Even if no one reads your blog, the act of writing it is clarifying, motivating and (eventually) fun.

This post is a first to establish a new habit; daily writing of my thoughts, rants, insights or observations. Like Seth wrote, if even if nobody is reading these, at least I get some benefits from it in the form of:

  1. Building a new habit
  2. Practicing writing and organizing my thoughts
  3. Collect an archive of my daily thoughts

These will be short thoughts or longer pieces what keeps me busy every day. Most likely on the shorter side than longer. For all kind of purposes, a lot of the content will be written & published on my iPhone while I’m on the go. Where needed, post editing will take place once I’m back on my laptop or iMac in my home office. 

Let’s see where we can take this.  

Do you have a daily writing habit?

Discharged

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A quick update:

Yesterday I was discharged from the hospital. Thanks to Martin MacDonald who picked me up and drove me home. #Brotherhood #Strong.

For those with a medical background or interest: I was diagnosed with: St Elevation Myocardial Infarction (Stemi) (Cms-Hcc). My diagnosis also included: Cardiogenic Shock (Cms-Hcc), Bradycardia, Mixed Hyperlipidemia, Coronary Artery Disease.

All people in the ICU were super surprised by my age. Having this at 43 is not common, so the most likely cause is genetics & stress. In the past days, I’ve had several conversations with my parents, and we urged my brother to get checked up as well to make sure he doesn’t have similar issues.

From the moment I walked my dog, around 6:30 am, to the time I checked into the hospital, 7:15, to the end of the operation, there was just 90 minutes in between. The doctor told me they have a standard to have a patient helped within 60 minutes between check-in and end of the procedure. 90 minutes is critical. It took the staff of Valley Care Hospital just under 44 minutes to have me fixed up from check in to end of the operation.

The doctor went into my right arm Radial Artery at the wrist with a catheter to open the blockage and place a stent in the vessel which was blocked, which was the Circumflex Coronary Artery. Angioplasty performed from the radial artery is also called transradial angioplasty.

So the fact I understood that I was having a heart attack probably must have saved my life! I knew the symptoms, which saved my life. I could easily have been one of those stories you hear that everything was fine, up to the day I dropped dead on the street.

Luckily this was not the case. I’m not done yet!
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Although we were already living as a healthy family, we will continue to live more healthy. The doctor didn’t give me certain diet restrictions only moderation, but I will self-restrict. See my healthy breakfast (Oatmeal with raspberries & blueberries and some nuts), the book I started this morning; How not to Die (which I bought weeks ago already) and my daily doses of pill cocktail.

It’s going to be a long way in recovery. I feel tired easily, and I’m out of breath just after a couple of meters of walking. I’m getting Cardiac Physiotherapy, where I will work with professionals to regain my confidence in exercise.

I’m really blown away by all your support messages from everybody. From all over the world I received well wishes. People standing in line to help me out, and come to visit me. From my family & friends in The Netherlands to my SEO community, to my current- & former colleagues at Fanatics, Airbnb & eBay. The care package was so attentive, and knowing my team at work having my back, makes all the difference!

But what is more special, is that my mom, didn’t hesitate to jump on a plane to come to take care of me when Fiona is busy with sicks kids in The Netherlands. 

I’m taking it easy, I’m probably healthier than last week as the blood is flowing into my heart. 
Next few weeks will be focused on recovery and check-ups. After that, we will see, but you ain’t seen nothing yet what I’m about to do!

I’ve got big plans, big plans I say!

Wake up call – surviving a heart attack

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Wow, wake up call!

For the last couple of days, I had a muscle in my back which felt like it was strained. Didn’t pay too much attention to it, just thought I needed more exercise.
Yesterday I felt light-headed driving into work, so before I hit the freeway I turned around to work from home.

This morning while walking the dog, I started to feel really bad. Turned around to drop of the dog.
While on the phone with Fiona, I described all symptoms of a heart attack.

Quickly went to the hospital, and as soon as the doctor attached a heart monitor I could hear him say: “Yes, he’s having one”

The next 2 hours were a roller coaster. Within a minute there were 6 people in the room preparing me to go into the operating room.
The doctors removed one blood-cloth which was blocking a vessel. A couple others are slightly blocked which can be treated with medication.

I can say, I’m extremely lucky I got to the hospital so fast. Doing much better now…

How I Lost 13 lbs in 90 Days by Not Drinking Alcohol

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Last week Friday, It has been 90 days since I walked out of the Galen Center in Los Angeles. I had just experienced an intense 4 days. For 4 days, From March 23 – 26, I attended the program Unleash the Power Within from Tony Robbins. Some people say it will change your life, others say; life will never be the same. Both of these statements are true.
Tony Robbins UPW LA
Picture by Emmeil Davis with permission
Apart from getting more focus in what I want in life, a drive to concentrate and do more meaningful stuff and a need to refocus on my relationship with my wife to strive to a higher and more loving relationship, there was a full day focussed on health. Right there and then, I committed to pursuing a cleanse of my body, to get rid of all acids and unhealthy stuff that had been building up in my digesting system for years. The cleanse is pretty intense, but if you condition yourself to focus on the outcome, you can endure any difficult diet. And what’s more, I just walked over fire, so how difficult can a 10 day cleanse be?
Firewalk at UPW LA Tony Robbins
Picture by Michelle Hardesty‎ with permission
The 10 day cleanse program consists of 4 actions. The actions are focussed on eliminating 4 groups of food/acids from your diet, which in general are bad for you if you over consume these. The rules of the 10 days cleanse of these 4 groups are:
  1. No dairy products; Damn, I like cheese!
  2. No sugar or white (refined) flour; Damn, you mean I can’t eat any of my beloved Dutch licorice?
  3. No meat or fish; Damn, I like my BBQ-ed steak
  4. No acids, so no coffee or alcohol; Damn… I mean… Damn!
For 10 days, I followed this challenge religiously. After 9 days, I said to myself, I can do more… so I went for 30. After the 30, I started to re-introduce some of the other products but stayed away from coffee & alcohol.
Don’t think about what can happen in a month. Don’t think about what can happen in a year. Just focus on the 24 hours in front of you and do what you can to get closer to where you want to be. 
Now, as last week Friday, I’m at day 90 without alcohol approaching 100 days. I just had a couple coffees in the last week. The results are amazing. I lost over 6 kilo (over 13 lbs).
Shots of Alcohol
Was it difficult, yes and no. Yes, it was difficult not enjoying a good wine when I had dinner with our friends from Third Door Media when they had wrapped up a conference in San Francisco. No, it was not difficult, because I know why I do it, and what it will bring me long term; I’m much more productive and been working towards a couple of long term goals I would like to achieve for me and my family.
You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine
What I got back from it is a similar experience as my friend Jon Henshaw describes:
The other thing that’s changed significantly is what I call my brainergy. I feel more alert and energetic. I had no idea just how much alcohol was physically depressing my body and my mind. I’m sure it’s also because I’m eating healthier now, but not drinking alcohol has made my mind significantly more sharp and intellectually motivated.
Now, every night instead of sitting on the couch with a glass of wine, watching uninteresting TV series or the CNN reporting of the shit show of politics in Washington, I’m working out on my reclined bike or working on side projects. I get so much more done. I’m starting to like this new found time…I even finished my first book in years, where I always had an excuse of not having enough time to read. Pff… that is just bullshit! And what’s more, I lost a ton of weight (6+ kilos) in the process too. More on that in the next post!
I can say that I‘ve been very impressed with the impact the UPW conference has had on me, and the way I use what I’ve learned there.