Dennis Goedegebuure

Control Emotions

By

Ever since I got struck with a massive heart attack just 4 months ago, I’m learning new skills. Not for my job or for parenting, but new skills on how to control my emotions and channel my energy. 

I use several apps to get into a ZEN mode in my life. These include:

  • Mood meter – tracking your mood to identify those moments you got annoyed or stressed out, and a guide on how to get to a better place with your emotions
  • Headspace – a meditation app. Andy talks you through a daily moment of ZEN
  • H*nest Meditation – another meditation app on advice from my friend Bob. This one makes me laugh often, although I just downloaded it

Even with use of these apps, there can still be moments you feel you’re losing it. Just recently I learned of the proactive formula from Kabbalah on a Podcast by Stephan Spencer. This is what I’m trying to incorporate in situations of conflict or challenges.

…One of my favorite things I learned from Kabbalah is the Proactive Formula, which is a five-step process…It’s about if you’re in conflict, you’re in a situation that is a challenge, what do you do? You follow the five steps if you’re going to be reactive…

I encourage you to listen to the whole episode of The Optimized Geek. 

The five steps are (summarized):

  1. Pause. Don’t get sucked into a conflict
  2. Recognize the person you’re in conflict with is not the enemy but your own reactivity is the opponent
  3. Recognize this conflict or challenge is brought to you to grow
  4. Ask yourself for a proactive solution or action to take
  5. Take that action

What are your strategies to take control of your emotions and face the challenges? Do you have any apps I should try?

It’s November, New Goals

By

This year is going so fast, we are already in November. For this months, I’m setting new goals today, which tie back into the habits I’m trying to develop while working on the recovery of my health. 

For November, my goals are:

  1. Burn 1,000 calories per day, every day in November as measured by my Apple Watch
  2. Walk 10,000 steps per day as measured by my Apple watch

As I’m a geek in collecting data about everything, I keep track of the daily calories & steps in a Google doc.

Exercise metrics tracked in Google Doc

One way to make sure I burn 1K calories a day is exercise on a reclined bike while watching sports. I figured if I spend 45 minutes per day on my bike, the 1K per day is attainable.

Meanwhile, the 10K steps is an extra pressure to get away from sitting behind the desk the whole day. My plan is to take calls while I walk, next to taking the dog out every morning. 

To accomplish these goals, it probably means I need to get up earlier, and hence go to bed on time to get sufficient sleep. 

What are your goals for November? 

Daily DG

By

Inspired by the post from one of my marketing hero’s Seth Godin I’m trying something new. He wrote in his post: The first 1,000 are the most difficult; 

For years, I’ve been explaining to people that daily blogging is an extraordinarily useful habit. Even if no one reads your blog, the act of writing it is clarifying, motivating and (eventually) fun.

This post is a first to establish a new habit; daily writing of my thoughts, rants, insights or observations. Like Seth wrote, if even if nobody is reading these, at least I get some benefits from it in the form of:

  1. Building a new habit
  2. Practicing writing and organizing my thoughts
  3. Collect an archive of my daily thoughts

These will be short thoughts or longer pieces what keeps me busy every day. Most likely on the shorter side than longer. For all kind of purposes, a lot of the content will be written & published on my iPhone while I’m on the go. Where needed, post editing will take place once I’m back on my laptop or iMac in my home office. 

Let’s see where we can take this.  

Do you have a daily writing habit?

Discharged

By

A quick update:

Yesterday I was discharged from the hospital. Thanks to Martin MacDonald who picked me up and drove me home. #Brotherhood #Strong.

For those with a medical background or interest: I was diagnosed with: St Elevation Myocardial Infarction (Stemi) (Cms-Hcc). My diagnosis also included: Cardiogenic Shock (Cms-Hcc), Bradycardia, Mixed Hyperlipidemia, Coronary Artery Disease.

All people in the ICU were super surprised by my age. Having this at 43 is not common, so the most likely cause is genetics & stress. In the past days, I’ve had several conversations with my parents, and we urged my brother to get checked up as well to make sure he doesn’t have similar issues.

From the moment I walked my dog, around 6:30 am, to the time I checked into the hospital, 7:15, to the end of the operation, there was just 90 minutes in between. The doctor told me they have a standard to have a patient helped within 60 minutes between check-in and end of the procedure. 90 minutes is critical. It took the staff of Valley Care Hospital just under 44 minutes to have me fixed up from check in to end of the operation.

The doctor went into my right arm Radial Artery at the wrist with a catheter to open the blockage and place a stent in the vessel which was blocked, which was the Circumflex Coronary Artery. Angioplasty performed from the radial artery is also called transradial angioplasty.

So the fact I understood that I was having a heart attack probably must have saved my life! I knew the symptoms, which saved my life. I could easily have been one of those stories you hear that everything was fine, up to the day I dropped dead on the street.

Luckily this was not the case. I’m not done yet!
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Although we were already living as a healthy family, we will continue to live more healthy. The doctor didn’t give me certain diet restrictions only moderation, but I will self-restrict. See my healthy breakfast (Oatmeal with raspberries & blueberries and some nuts), the book I started this morning; How not to Die (which I bought weeks ago already) and my daily doses of pill cocktail.

It’s going to be a long way in recovery. I feel tired easily, and I’m out of breath just after a couple of meters of walking. I’m getting Cardiac Physiotherapy, where I will work with professionals to regain my confidence in exercise.

I’m really blown away by all your support messages from everybody. From all over the world I received well wishes. People standing in line to help me out, and come to visit me. From my family & friends in The Netherlands to my SEO community, to my current- & former colleagues at Fanatics, Airbnb & eBay. The care package was so attentive, and knowing my team at work having my back, makes all the difference!

But what is more special, is that my mom, didn’t hesitate to jump on a plane to come to take care of me when Fiona is busy with sicks kids in The Netherlands. 

I’m taking it easy, I’m probably healthier than last week as the blood is flowing into my heart. 
Next few weeks will be focused on recovery and check-ups. After that, we will see, but you ain’t seen nothing yet what I’m about to do!

I’ve got big plans, big plans I say!

Wake up call – surviving a heart attack

By

Wow, wake up call!

For the last couple of days, I had a muscle in my back which felt like it was strained. Didn’t pay too much attention to it, just thought I needed more exercise.
Yesterday I felt light-headed driving into work, so before I hit the freeway I turned around to work from home.

This morning while walking the dog, I started to feel really bad. Turned around to drop of the dog.
While on the phone with Fiona, I described all symptoms of a heart attack.

Quickly went to the hospital, and as soon as the doctor attached a heart monitor I could hear him say: “Yes, he’s having one”

The next 2 hours were a roller coaster. Within a minute there were 6 people in the room preparing me to go into the operating room.
The doctors removed one blood-cloth which was blocking a vessel. A couple others are slightly blocked which can be treated with medication.

I can say, I’m extremely lucky I got to the hospital so fast. Doing much better now…

Social Holiday: Getting off the crack of the short-term dopamine feedback loops

By

It has been hard, but for the last five days I’ve not posted, liked and only commented once on a Facebook post. Only work-related stuff is still published on my wall. Yes, I’m taking a social media break too. For how long, I’m not sure yet, if I like it you won’t see me here as much as before 2018.

Are you addicted to the short-term dopamine feedback loops of social media?

I’m Dennis, and I’m an addict to the short-term dopamine feedback loops of the little red dot of Facebook engagement. In addictions they say, acknowledgement is the first step to get better. For me, it’s key to get off the social engagement crack for the future of my kids.

Do you find yourself at dinner with friends watching at your phone the whole time? You might suffer from the same addiction…

Screentime for kids these days

My 11 years old daughter got an iPod last year. She already has an Insta account. Short for Instagram with the middle schoolers. We started to see big behavioral changes with her since she got the iPod. Screen time has changed the way she responds to us.

With our two boys, it’s even worse. iPads, television and Kindle fire are a constant discussion point. I would hate it if my kids end up like the two women in the picture, going out for lunch constantly staring at their phones, while they sit opposite each other. I took this picture last week in San Francisco when we were having lunch for my daughters birthday as a reminder for her not to behave this way.

A couple of weeks ago I even posted about the early morning TV behavior of my 4-year-old. It looks funny, and comments all were laughing a bid until you live this.every.fricking.day.for.over.a.year now. Mr V is only 4, can’t read or write yet, but through voice search commands can control the TV & cable. Great technology innovation, but not when you try to control his behavior. Safe to say that I locked up the way you can order on demand video’s after this, while that doesn’t stop him from controlling the TV, and sneaking downstairs to watch early in the morning.

Frying brains through screentime one kid at-a-time

The brains of our kids get fried by screentime these days. So many times we see couples with kids in restaurants, where the parents finally get a quiet dinner just because the kids have an iPad to play with. There is a reason why both Steve Jobs & Bill Gates didn’t let their kids play on an iPad, or at least limited screentime. (source: 1 & 2)

For me, the realization of a need to change came when all this escalated with the winter break holidays. Kids are out of school for 2 weeks, a house full of guests/family, and a need to keep a baby happy with naps during the day. This means, not a lot of day trips for the kids, lots of time at home to spend the day. The number of discussions we have had about screen time was off the charts.

Meanwhile, I happen to stumble on the comments from Chamath Palihapitiya about his regrets of contributing to the development of these short-term dopamine feedback loops while he was at Facebook. I have tremendous respect for this guy saying this in public and watched numerous video’s in which he explained his comments, and the context you should understand this remark in. Watch the whole video below to see what context his comments should be understood in. I start the embedded video at an important moment in the interview:

In his house, there is no screen time what so ever! You see, it’s not just the pull of social engagement on Facebook or Instagram which makes kids want to watch tv or use an iPad. It’s an easy way out for parents to get the kids occupied for hours without any need to put a lot of energy in them.

Great, let me try this no-screen-time thing… One day over the holiday break, I take my two boys to the sports park after having the same discussion about laptops, Kindles, iPads and TV again. We ended up running around the field, playing throw-and-catch or soccer, and having a lot of fun with the three of us. When we got in the car to grab lunch, I asked them if they enjoyed themselves;

“This was so much fun”

they both said. I asked:

“More than screen time?”

“Yes, WAY MORE FUN!”

BOOM, mission accomplished.

For the next 3 days, we went for at least an hour per day to the sports park, if not 2 hours. I wished this could be my life forever, throwing footballs with my boys outside.

However, reality kicked in, and it was back to work. Because of no time during the day to play throw-and-catch, they are back to endless whining about screen time and ongoing fights over the remote control for the TV. I’m almost there to cancel our cable and sell off the TV. And our kids already get limited screentime!

This calls for drastic action!

Social Media Holiday

For me to be a good example for my kids, I need to live the way I want them to behave. No phones at the table, no endless screen scrolling at the couch. So, I have challenged myself to a social media holiday. For my work, I will need to have some access to Facebook, so I will keep posting work-related content of Fanatics. For the rest, you can reach me through other channels.

If I’m not responding to any of your posts, It’s not you, it’s me…